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.TuG.DaveAlmighty

Why Water Blows...

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The reasons why water blows...

 

1. It tastes like @#%$.

2. It gets everything wet.

3. It ruins things that rely on electricity.

4. Why not just drink gatorade or something that actually tastes good.

 

5. There are billions of micro-organisms that live in each drop of water. TRILLIONS EVEN. I dont know about you, but i dont want to drink that @#%$.

6. You can drown in it. Last year 2 billion Australlians died in water related accidents. Keep in mind these are Aussies, the toughest mother ****ers on earth. Besides lumberjacks.

7. How many times have you been walking in some store, and some jackass just finished rubbing that death liquid on the floor, just so you can slip and die. Water is @#%$ evil.

8. Monsters live in water. (ex. Lochness Monster)

 

9. Water is a greedy bitch. It hogs 71% of the earth.

10. Terrorists drink water. You dont want to support the terrorists, DO YOU????

11. Water, in its solid form, can be used to stab somebody.

12. Unless you have a snowboard, an avalanche will kill you.

 

13. The only reason people drink water is because its trendy, its the cool thing to do.

14. Water is in pee. Do you really want to drink pee? I think not.

15. Water lets evil animals live, such as grizzly bears. Salmon live in water(filthy bitches), and grizzly bears eat salmon, therefore, water keeps grizzly bears alive.

16. Water is responsible for every death. Ever.

17. Water has special chemicals in it to brainwash people into thinking water is good.

18. Why do you think you take craps in water? I know, because it SUCKS.

19.

20. Why do you think cats hate water? Oh you dont know? I'll tell you why, its because they are highly evolved mammals from the future, and they travelled back in time to warn us about water, however they dont know how to speak, because they are only cats. So they do the best they can by running away from it. Could you people be any more naive?? These cats are warning us, but you continue to drink water. I hope you have fun in hell for the rest of forever.

21. Water is the leading cause of floods.

22. Waters boiling point is exactly 100 degrees celcius, and its freezing point is exactly 0 degrees celcius. A mere coincidence? I think not. Water obviously has a mind of its own if it is going to pick values so exact.

23. Water helps get rid of the innocent bacteria that live places. What did they do? They dont deserve death for simply living. Water is evil.

24. Ocean water is slowly creeping up on land. Every thousand years, the ocean rises an average of 3 feet. that maybe not seem like much, but after 8 billion years, thats 1 million feet!!! Thats pretty damn scary if you ask me.

25. Forest fires, which are naturally occuring, are put out by water. WATER GOES AGAINST NATURE!! Yet you people continue to consume this evil evil "beverage."

26. Water is bad.

27. Water causes iron to rust.

28. Monsoons, tsunamis, hurricanes, serial killers, all are caused by, yep, you guessed it. Water.

29. This one time, a puppy drowned in water. How the hell can you possibly support something that kills puppies?

30. Hippos live in water. They kill so many humans its not able to be comprehendable. By anybody. Thats right its not. 85% of all humans are killed by hippos at some point in their life. Don't believe me? Take a look at this graph.

31. Whales hate the water, they are always trying to escape, but we call them "beached" and throw them back in. I think whales would know more about water than we would, they live in it and their brains are 800 times the size of ours.

32. Why do you think dolphins are always jumping out of the water? I know, because it SUCKS.

33. If you get water really really hot, it will burn you.

34. If you reverse the letters in W-A-T-E-R, you get R-E-T-A-W. Now if you change the W to a B, you get R-E-T-A-B. Now if you take off the last two letters, you get R-E-T.

35. Just about every single evil person in the history of the world drank water.

36. That Jesus guy knew what he was doing. He hated water, so he turned it into wine. I think thats what I am gonna do from now on. It's probably not that hard, and then when everybody is all drunk off the home made wine, I'll tell them why water is so bad. And then I will lead them all into a bloody revolution where we overthrow the government and create a water-free government. And then they will sober up and realize that they had just killed a bunch of people. And then I will have those filthy murderers arrested. I hate murderers.

37. "Water? That stuff doesn't let you breathe!" - Taco Bell Donna

38. Water Shmwater.

39. Two words: Waterworld.

40. Water has a density of exactly 1. I think thats @#%$ up.

41. Once again, Jesus comes through. Instead of walking around a river or lake, he tramples the water and stays afloat.

42. To say water in French, you would say toilette. This one isn't so much about water, but more about how much France sucks.

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