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The Unknown Ghosts



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Mens' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the

guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules

from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!!!!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining

about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it

that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In

fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us

to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it


1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during


1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,

for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have

no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like




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