Jump to content
The Unknown Ghosts

Something to offend anyone...


St_Bond

Recommended Posts

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag

 

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it

 

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts

 

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

 

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever

 

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities

 

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

45 lbs

 

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes

 

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife

 

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends

 

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

 

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

 

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls

 

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside

 

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

 

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you

 

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA

 

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it

 

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar

 

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment

 

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

They're hiring

 

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...