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The Unknown Ghosts

Something to offend anyone...


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What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag


Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it


What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?



Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any


What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever


What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities


What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

45 lbs


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes


What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you


What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving


Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls


What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA


Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it


Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment


What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

They're hiring


What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

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