UnDyingUK

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: - ?1.50. Chicken Sandwich: - ?2.50. Hand Job: - ?10.00. Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am" The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

Well heres my other for tonight, The Suffering on the PC, I originally bought this game on the PS2, cause i like the look of it but unfortunately for the PS2 this is a FPS, so the game went back cause aiming with a joy pad is a major waste of time and effort, then when i was in the shop today i saw it for ?25, so thought why not and bought it. This game ROCKS!!! Who ever put an 18 cert on this one was spot on after most fights you are soaked in blood, and throughout the game you have to make decisions that will decide which ending of 3 you get, so far ive killed everything and everyone including prison guards and cons alike, although the other option is to save em to get a different ending Basically the story is that the powers that run the prison you are in have been experimenting on prisoners and created loads of monsters, of which the charcter you control is able to change into a monster to kill everything at certain times when your counter is full, kinda funky monster that he is with a massive blade instead of a left hand. Ive just clocked up 6 hours of nonstop gameplay without even noticing the time, hence why i'm typing this at 1.40am. I havent been hooked on a game like this for a while. Rating out of 10 - 10/10 with ease. Well worth ?25 in my opinion. Worth downloading the demo to TBYB.

Well i havent done any reviews for a while so hers a couple, starting with Dead Mans Hand, DMH is a FPS set in the time of Cowboys and Indians. I d/l the demo the other day and god what an awful game, its just really boring, theres nothing really gripping that might make ya wanna play it, between missions you play 5 card stud, to increase your ammo stock but if you get a duff hand you lose everything youve won so far. I would say that that is probably the only original concept in this game, so if youve got a spare ?30 i suggest you roll it up nice and tight and stick it up your bum, cause that'll be as exciting as playing this game. Rating out of 10 - 0/10

Going back to a previous post regarding Buggery, is "messgae" what is left over after the aformentioned occurence???

Man after seeing this film i just had to get this pic on my desktop

...... I will be hopefully buying in a couple of weeks. Dimension 8400 (D0885) (DELL) Dimension 8400 Pentium 4 processor 530 with HT technology (3.00GHz, 800fsb, 1MB cache) 1024MB Dual Channel DDR2 400MHz [2x512] 160GB (7200rpm) Serial ATA Hard Drive with 8MB DataBurst? cache 128MB PCI-Express ATI Radeon X800SE? with TVout & DVI Dell M993 19" (18.0 VIS) UltraScan? CRT Monitor 16 x DVD+R/+RW and 48 x CDRW Creative Labs Sound Blaster? Audigy 2 (Dell), PCI w/Dolby Digital 5.1 and IEEE1394 Dell A425 Midnight Grey speakers with subwoofer Dell Enhanced Multimedia keyboard Dell USB Optical Mouse A snip at a mere ?1,382. Lets just hope this insurance company pulls its finger out

trust me i have 384 Mb RAM and a G4 Ti 4200 128Mb, and "Zoldner" didnt crash on me at all the other night. If its crashing then its prolly the 5200, I used to have a G4 MX440 which is basically the same spec as the 5200 and I used to have to turn down my settings to play GR, and GR isnt exactly heavy on the system requirements.

No Wizzy likes Sheep not RAM

I have 384Mb RAM, and i was playing soldner ok last night, it just takes a little while for the initial load, but the game play was fine. Dunno how the 5200 will handle it though bareing in mind it is the equivalent of the G4 MMX 440. g/l

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Horn broken. Watch for finger. * Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * All generalizations are false. * Cover me. I'm changing lanes. * I brake for no apparent reason. * Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth-control. * I'm not as you think as you drunk I am. * Forget about world peace...Visualize using your turn signal. * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart? * He who laughs last thinks slowest. * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. * It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. * Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy. * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. * Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. * I love cats ...they taste just like chicken. * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. * Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons. * Born free...Taxed to death. * The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. * Laugh alone and the world thinks you are an idiot. * Rehab is for quitters. * I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. * Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep. * All men are idiots, and I married their King. * Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician. * Work is for people who don't know how to fish. * Montana -- At least our cows are sane! * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. * Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. * If you don't like the news, go out and make some. * When you do a good deed, get a receipt--in case heaven is like IRS. * Sorry, I don't date outside my species. * No radio--already stolen. * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. * Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges. * I took an IQ test and the results were negative. * Where there's a will, I want to be in it. * OK, who stopped payment on my realty check? * Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it. * I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. * Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW. * Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist. * IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. * Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students. * It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. * According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist. * Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. * Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. * Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from? * How can I miss you if you won't go away? * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. * Give me ambiguity or give me something else. * We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. * Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. * Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else. * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. * Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes. * Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. * Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. * i souport publik edekashun. * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. * Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... * There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those you can't. * Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? * Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

http://www.anothersite.co.uk/news.php?artc=96&

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from Heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking knowingly. Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit on its head

Second man: "I lived on the twenty-seventh floor of this apartment building. I had just purchased this book on morning exercises and was practicing them on my balcony, enjoying the sunshine, when I lost my balance and fell off the edge. Luckily, I only fell about two floors before grabbing another balcony and holding on for dear life. I was trying to pull myself up when this guy came running onto what must have been his balcony and started jumping up and down on my hands. I screamed in pain, but he seemed really irate. When he finally stopped, I tried to pull myself up again, but he came out with a hammer and smashed my fingers to a pulp! I fell, and I thought I was dead, but I landed in some bushes. I couldn't believe my second stroke of luck, but it didn't last. The last thing I saw was this enormous refrigerator falling from the building down on top of me and crushing me." St. Peter comforted the man, who seemed to have several broken bones. Then he told him to wait, and turned to the third man. Third man: "Picture this. You're hiding, naked, in a refrigerator..."

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit 33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in turn and asks them about how they died. First man: "I'd been suspecting for a long time that my wife was cheating on me. I decided to come home early from work one afternoon and check to see if I could catch her in the act. When I got back to my apartment, I heard the water running. My wife was in the shower. I looked everywhere for the guy, but couldn't find anyone or any trace that he had been there. The last place I looked was out on the balcony. I found the bastard hanging from the edge, trying to get back in! So I started jumping up and down on his hands, and he yelled, but he didn't fall. So I ran inside and got a hammer, and crushed his fingers with it until he fell twenty-five floors screaming in agony. But the fall didn't kill the asshole. He landed in some bushes! So I dragged the refirgerator from the kitchen (it weighed about a ton), pulled it to the balcony, and hurled it over the edge. It landed right on the guy and killed him. But then I felt so horrible about what I had done, I went back into the bedroom and shot myself." St. Peter nodded slowly as the man recounted the story. Then, telling the first man to wait, he took the second aside.

Too Funny http://www.anothersite.co.uk/news.php?artc=120

na ive had a NovaWorld Account since DFLW, so i logged in with that and it seems to have accepted it fine.

Anyone know why i'm not getting past the "Enumerating Session ..." screen??? When i try to play on novaworld

Unfortunately the closest Wizzy will get to that is sitting on the skids in his pants

and "NO" Beaver i didnt read your first paragraph properly to know the PC World price And "YES" i am an ass

I bought the game yesterday as PC world are selling it for ?25, havent taken it online yet as I am still getting my ass kicked on the Training missions But wow it looks nice plays nice and my piddly little comp runs it without any probs, only complaint is that theres no "Chase" view when driving Vehs <_<

2nd is a "Caracal" Cruiser Class - Is probably the 2nd best Cruiser in the race I am using. Will post a pic of the best cruiser in my Race, when its been built

Heres a couple of pics of some of the ships ive been flying lately. First is a "Kestrel" Frigate Class. Its a missile boat quite effective.

a little

on the left side of the bar that has my name in could you post. M.I.A. It seems fitting